Dedicated To Shasha

This post is dedicated to my high school friend, who’s also a reader of ‘The View From Here’ (ha ha poyo), Shasha.

I read about your ailing father, and your dilemma about wanting to take time off to take care of him.

The first time my mummy was fighting against cancer, I was in university. So she was scheduled to have her radiology treatments, which was available in KL General Hospital then. I can’t remember it now but I think she stayed with me in college for a few days because my father had to go back to JB for something. So I asked Anies my roommate and her then boyfriend Amad to send us to hospital, and some days borrowed Kak Peachy’s car to take her to those appointments. It was tough but we had some really good times.

Once, Amad was busy and so we couldn’t get a ride to hospital, so she decided that we shall take the bus there! And boy, was she happy and excited! Siap cakap dia excited gila nak naik bas. But I decided that I shall not subject her to such torture, yelah penat ok nak naik bas. Aku takpelah, mak aku kan sakit. Jadik aku mintak tolong Mar dan kawan dia tolong hantarkan kami ke Hospital. Balik kami naik cab. Now when I think about it, maybe we should have taken the bus, ek?

Generally, what I am saying is that I am glad I took the time to take care of her.

The second time she was diagnosed with cancer, it was – I reckon – too late because it was already at a critical stage. I suppose I thought she’d get better just like the last time. Aku baru je habis praktikal masa tu. Mummy by then was already spending nights at the GH in JB. The obvious choice would have been to stay in JB to take care of her, since I was jobless then. Instead I spent a week in JB, then I shot off to KL dan sambung kerja dekat ofis tempat aku praktikal tu dengan gaji RM1000 je sebulan.

The first weekend I didn’t go home for some stupid reason. The Friday approaching the second weekend mummy passed away.

Until today, I have not forgiven myself for choosing work over taking care of my ailing mother.

As cliché as this may sound, family comes first. Above all other.

I have told Zufri, should anything happen to my father (mintak simpang malaikat 44), I am going to quit my job, go back to JB to take care of him. InsyaAllah. Refuse to let pisang berbuah dua kali.

I know what you are going through. Persevere, and with God’s will, everything will be fine.


peachy said...

Ya Allah Ri. I made some stupid choices too. But we had a lot of wonderful moments growing up with Mommy kan so let's not define our relationship based on that period only k..

rawkstar said...


Aku teringat ur mommy main komputer kt bilik kite Riri.

Al Fatihah.

asyik kah aku? said...

thanks for sharing babe, i always wonder how exactly you felt during that though time. the best daughter one can ever get. :)

dbalkis said...

i almost cry in front of this office PC..kenapa aku rasa mcm x berada di tempat kejadian?? Sem Khas kan(ko berumate ngn anies)? btw ko mmg anak solehah..jgn sedih ya..ur mummy mesti bangga ngan ko..i'll do the same too bila tiba masanya nanti..

--being Maneesa-- said...

intan thank you :)
thank you for sharing and i am sorry and i can't imagine if i were in ur shoe.
and i can't say how much i appreciate u share the tough time that u had to go through here and it help me in giving some idea of what to do.
thank you thank you :)

hahaha and boley tak aku nangis ok depan laptop dlm office.

dbalkis said...

Shasha manees....u r gud girl too..be strong ya...akan ku follow blog mu jua..