All Is Not Well

Singapore General Hospital is much different from JB General Hospital (Hospital Sultanah Aminah) or even KL General Hospital. Why, it’s much better than Assunta Specialist. And is much more expensive. Betullah kata Papa, it looks like a 4 star hotel. Hehe.

Auntie Rani has Hodgkins Disease (I think. Its cancer of the lymph nodes). She’s at stage 3, and she seems to be responding to the chemotherapy. Déjà vu. Her chemo’s for 6 cycles, each cycle is 21 days apart. I’m not so sure about radiotherapy (whether she has to do them).

Papa seems thinner, according to Zufri. I think he just looks tired. He’s OK though, even joking that he’s had experience, so he’d be able to handle it well.

He’s such a good man. It feels unfair that he’d have to go through this for the third time, tapi ini ketentuan Tuhan. He’s not complaining, so I shouldn’t be.

Insya Allah, with proper treatment she’ll be A-OK.

Cancer is everywhere nowadays.

Take care of yourselves.

Of Running And Loss

Don't really wanna say it, but I've been pretty busy lately. Oh no no no, not with work. Work was pretty breezy last week. I've been cataloging the catalogs at the library cum meeting room. Banyak yo katalog. Katalog dan brochure dan technical specifications dating back from 1992 jua masih disimpan.

So anyway, what I was busy doing was, jeng jeng jeng, training. I signed up for Standard Chartered KL Marathon, woot! But for the 10km run, haha. Saja nak kasi gempak kejap. I'm pretty nervous but mostly excited. This would be my first 10km run.

I called Papa up to get some training advice. He said his best time was 52 minutes, and that I should focus on finishing the run. Coming in at 2 hours would be good enough. Chehhhhhh sungguh statement bapak gua ni. Dia ingat aku tahan ke nak lari selama dua jam? Hehehe. Akan aku buktikan bahawasanya aku akan complete the run in less than 2 hours (nak kata less than 1 hour tapi tak berani ya)!

I took a break from running while I was pregnant with Emma. Sampai ke la ni, baru dua / tiga kali aku berlari. The day I signed up, I ran again. For twenty minutes. Not bad eh for a person who didn't do any form of exercise for two years? Not good enough, but not quite bad.

The day I get my overtime claim, I'm gonna get myself a new pair of Aasics. Kenapa Aasics? Aku terpengaruh dengan iklannya di dalam Runners magazine. Ya, aku membaca majalah tentang larian. Don't know where to get 'em. My old running shoes are thirsty. Kakakaka direct translation, tapak dah haus.

Insya Allah, larian akan lebih bersemangat. I've already downloaded Owl City. Ya, harus complete. Tiada muzik, tiada semangat.

Now a moment of silence.

Wan Rose lost her dearest mother this morning. She's very close to her ma, so this must be a devastating blow. Hope she's coping well with her loss.

Al-Fatihah.

Je m’apelle Claude

I have the most annoying team leader in the world. Most times I wish she were dead. Childish, yes. Morbid, yes. Awful, also yes. Tak baik tau wishing anyone were dead. Argh I take it back, I wish she’d resign. Hehe.

Sometimes I really had it up to this (points to nose) level. Just enough air to breathe. Why is she so annoying? Are all unmarried 50 + year olds this annoying and irritating? Based on MY experience (having worked with 2, hehe), I’d have to agree. Yes. They are all annoying and irritating. But why? Maybe because of the lack of companionship ke? Maybe because they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to complain, but no one to give, say or complain to.

Pastu tension sorang-sorang tak puas hati, nak bagi semua orang tension sekali. Bleurgh.

Hari tu bukak you tube, pasang video belajar French dengan Emma. Hahaha. Le coleurs. Je m’apelle Claude. Eh, Emma. Hahaha. Joey never fails to crack me up. Antara lawak Friends yang aku suka adalah pasal Ross dan unagi. Hahahaha. The state of awareness atau a kind of sushi? Bodoh gila. Kemudian aku juga suka yang Joey appeared on Pyramid Game. Hahaha like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? Hahahaha.

Hahahahaha kelakar gila.

See? Friends always cheers me up.

Lega? Gembira?

Ujie said I could work under pressure. I sometimes think that I produce my best works under pressure. Sometimes however, I crack. Case in point: yesterday I was quite busy trying to finish ujie’s taking off, while juggling the preparation of Miss Tang’s addendum, when suddenly Miss Tang asked me a question about a contractor’s claim that I had prepared the day before. She only told me to write what we paid next to their claim amount per block. Sekali aku check-check, tak dapat. It’s a simple enough exercise, one I should be able to do with an eye closed. Check lagi, tak tally. Check satu-satu pun tak dapat.

I began to panic. Then I took some time off and went to dinner with my colleagues. At that time, Zufri called and said that he’s tapauing KFC and would I like some? I said no, I’m having dinner now. Then I saw our car, heading towards KFC. I looked around me and said to myself, what the hell am I doing? I had a kind of longing feeling. I don’t know. It’s a feeling I can’t describe lah. Mostly I felt guilty.

When I began to ponder upon the stupid thing I was working on, dan masih tak dapat-dapat lagi penyelesaiannya, I began to cry. Not an all out sob-fest, lebih kepada air mata berlinangan. I packed up and left. On the walk home, linangan air mata itu berterusan.

When I reached home and was greeted by Emma, segala keresahan dan linangan air mata itu hilang. Diganti dengan rasa.. lega? Gembira? Entah, again it is a feeling I can’t describe. Serius ni, bukannya aku cuba menjadi corny or cliché or poyo ke, tapi bila nampak Emma, rasa penat jerih bekerja itu hilang. Nak nangis di bahu Zufri pun tak jadik.

Maybe I felt at peace.

This morning, the problem sorted itself out.

Maybe I was just too tired to be able to think straight.
Al-Fatihah buat arwah Din Beramboi. He’s the only reason I can sit through Afi dan Abah.